Surfing and Love

 Three weeks ago we had four straight days of very small but very-well-groomed surf. My local sandbar was tuned to perfection and I was out every afternoon while the thin line of blue horizon melted into the sea.

One day, I was catching thigh-high waves that peeled for 200 feet. The waves would bend and curve and act like they were dancing with the bottom, which is pretty near the truth. I was gliding, turning, cross-stepping, and trying to hanging five. I felt this deep thing for surfing, something like love.  

Speaking of love: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner—a day lovers dare not forget. Myself, I’m a romantic. I like giving flowers and I enjoy a candlelit dinner for two.  I’ve been known to write love notes and poetry that suggests, in the words of e.e. Cummings, “Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.”

Theologically speaking, Christians assert that “God is love.”  And while Muslims don’t quite use the same paradigm when speaking of God, the Quran does say, “Love is one of the most subtle blessings that the Most Merciful One has bestowed upon humanity.”

Romantic love springs from feelings best described by the Greek god Eros (counterpart to the Roman god Cupid).  Eros means “passionate desire” but, as anyone who has been married for more than a week will tell you, Eros has its limits. It takes more than Eros to see people from the wedding altar to the grave.

Love takes practice and practice may not be erotic. Practicing love with a partner may look more like doing the dishes when you both are tired. But you do it, if begrudgingly, because you love the person.
It’s like surfing. Some days I really don’t feel like paddling out The wave may be too small or the form may not be good. But if I have the time, I will go out. For the love of surfing, I practice surfing. And it’s in the continuous practice that the love of something is refined.

Indeed, love may very well be defined by the amount we practice that which we love. This may mean we kiss and make up when we’d prefer to hold a grudge. This may mean that we surf on days that we might rather drink a beer and sit on the deck. For the love of something or someone, we stick to it.

As the Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nat Hanh reminds us, “Love is a practice. Love is truly a practice.”
And so it is, with surfing and people.