Surfing and Grief

Surfers ride waves for a variety of reasons. Foremost, we surf because of the stoke we receive from gliding on the water. “Stoke” is a not-so-technical word meaning happy, excited or thrilled.

But surfers surf for other reasons, as well. For example, boredom can force a surfer off the couch on a rainy Saturday afternoon to ride knee-high waves. Anger from a bad day at work or school will push a surfer to get wet. And, when grieving, surfers will seek out the comfort of saltwater, which can wash away their blues.

Several weeks, ago our family had a sad day. Early on a Friday morning, while our son, William, was in high school, my wife Amy and I reluctantly euthanized our beloved 10-year-old dog, Dixie. As dog people know, it’s like discovering a hole in your heart.

So, we were sad.  

Later that day, after my son returned home from school, I asked him if he’d like to surf. “Surfing will help with the grief,” I told him. “The ocean is a healer,” I said, remembering words my mother spoke to me when I was a boy. “Let’s go ride some waves.”

At the moment, William only wanted to be left alone. I understood. As I left the house, I told him I would be at the north side of the pier.

The waves were pretty crummy, but as the tide pushed in, the sandbar forced the weak thigh-high waves into something worth surfing. I had been out about a half-hour when I saw William just north of the small crowd at the pier. I caught a wave and paddled back out near him.

“Good to see you,” I said.

“I’m glad I came out, Dad,” he said. “It feels good to be in the water. I’ve gotten a couple of fun rides. I needed this.”

I watched William catch a nice wave and ride it to the beach. When he paddled back out he was smiling. “How are you feeling?” I asked him.

“Sad. But this helps.”

“Let’s catch a wave for Dixie,” I said.

After supper that night, as Amy, William and I came together for prayer, William said, “I’m so glad I surfed today. It helped me with my grief. I know Dixie is better off. I miss her but she no longer suffers.”

Surfing almost always has a way of putting life in perspective. This is one of the blessings of riding waves. Surfing is a cathartic art that can lift the veil on sadness.

Death can be a difficult part of life. We say goodbye to those we love, people and pets. But Mother Ocean is always there ready to surround us with a comforting embrace (and, if we are fortunate, the riding of waves).